What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 20.06.2025 01:00
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
What do you think is the #1 cause of why relationships nowadays don't seem to last long?
Ive learnt so much.
He knew the spot.
So, i spoilt her more .
Light Squeezed Out of Darkness in Surprising Quantum Simulation - ScienceAlert
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Have you ever been forced to dress like a girl?
I said to her
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
What is the most unwatchable movie you have sat through?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Why are white women so overly emotional?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
It was going to be , some day.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Who is the greatest light welterweight boxer of all time?
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
All the time i was locked up.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Do guys ever want to suck a dick even though they are straight?
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Would this be the day?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
What is the naughtiest fantasy that you've lived out?
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Who then, do I blame.?
What did i know ?
Why do you think it is bad to allow people to self-identify as a different gender?
He was dying to do it , i knew.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
My life is so biszare .
Is it true that LGB should drop T?
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Was to survive, this bastard.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I had hoped to write a book about this .
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I could never make a relationship work though!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
We were not on the streets..
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
One cannot live in the past .
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
My family never makes their pension either.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
She loved him until the end.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
So whats the point in blame.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
But, we were locked up after school.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I was scared of men, in general
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
As i do to all so called friends.?
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
She wouldn,t have been !
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I waited trembling.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I never cut or harmed myself..
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Im still living with it.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Especially a lifetime of it.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
And i lived it daily.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Comes on , in middle age.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
(And it was in our own minds.)
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
We all went to grammer schools
I will be 64.
She was in good health!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I was seconnd youngest,
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Put me off passion for life!!
I have no regrets .
I think the readers, may guess!
I don,t even have a pension.
Why did i forgive my father ?
I was very sick at this time too.
When she asked me how she looked .
I couldn’t, believe it.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
She married twice! .
I write beautiful poetry .
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
She found it foreign!.
I was 9 years of age.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
But it wasn’t much.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
He resisted the act ,that day.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
This is soul school!.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!